I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize