Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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