i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
