He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Randomize
