I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
