the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
