I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
