So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
