Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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