hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
