I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
