That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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