He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
