"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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