Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
