You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
