put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
