Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
