sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
