he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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