We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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