Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
