good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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