spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
