Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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