Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
