Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
