There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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