You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
