i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
should my penis look like a turkey
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
