Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
