I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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