Buhtt sex?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
