she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
