I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
