your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
