sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
