I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
