Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
