Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
