my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
