Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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