He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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