I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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