Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
