Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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