my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
They have beer where we have blood.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
