When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize