I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
