You're completely useless in the revolution.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
