I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
