dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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