did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
