Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
