Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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