ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
