I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
