On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
