there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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